


Cousin

by katnor



Series: Family is everything [2]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Crush, Awkward Family Gatherings, Finrod is gorgeous, First Kiss, M/M, No one parties like the House of Finwë, Surprise Party, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9106291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katnor/pseuds/katnor
Summary: Caranthir meets Finrod and really doesn't want to like him. It's just hard not to.





	1. First meeting

**Author's Note:**

> You know they're not mine.

He wasn’t going to look at him again. It had been a mistake, looking into those pale, blue eyes. He’d gotten lost in them, lost his ability to speak, he hadn’t even been able to say something scathing when the golden-haired vision of beauty introduced himself as his cousin. He’d just stared like a ninny, mouth slightly open and that damn blush spreading over his cheekbones. 

It wasn’t like Finrod was his real cousin, anyway. They happened to share one grandparent, that was all. They were about the same age, but so very different. Finrod was gorgeous, absolutely beautiful, with his long, blonde hair, blue eyes and whippet-like frame. Caranthir knew himself to be fairly good-looking, tall, dark-haired and dark-eyed, but he was as awkward as a fifteen-year-old could be, and that stupid blush made it all worse. He tried to keep cool and calm, he really did, but the blush got him every time, and if it didn’t, his temper did. 

His brothers liked to rile him up, especially Maglor and Celegorm. Maedhros had tried to keep them away from him, but he was away at university now and was rarely home. It had become something of a game to them, trying to either make him blush so hard even the tips of his ears were glowing, or make him explode and start breaking things. 

Caranthir hated losing control.

Which was why he wasn’t ever going to look at Finrod again, because that made him feel... things he wasn’t really equipped to deal with. He turned his back and fled the garden party, escaping to his room and ducking inside quickly, before his mother spotted him and made him come back and be sociable. He fell onto the bed with a sigh of mixed relief and disappointment. Relief, because he’d made it unnoticed. Disappointment, because... Finrod. He wanted to be around him, and yet... the feelings his lovely cousin (half-cousin!) awoke in him were frightening, disturbing, exciting. 

”He’s just a dumb blonde”, Caranthir said out loud. His voice echoed in the room. ”Barbie doll. Princess.” Unfortunately, saying those things didn’t make him feel any better.

There was a quiet knock on the door. Before he had time to growl out the ”go away” hovering on his lips, the door opened and Finrod stuck his head inside. ”Your mom told me where to find you. You ok? Mind if I come in?” 

Caranthir opened his mouth to shout at his stupid, pretty, annoying, beautiful and absolutely infuriating cousin (half-cousin!), but shut it again and just stared. The git was smiling at him, and his smile was enough to make anyone melt. Anyone but Caranthir, that was. ”Come on in I guess”, he muttered darkly. 

Finrod just gave him another beaming smile, waltzed in and gracefully sank down in the old armchair by the window. ”So, I hear you’re good with your hands... uhhh...” He broke off and actually blushed, a deep red that seemed to begin from someplace around his neck and spread to his high cheekbones and his pointed ears. ”I mean... you do embroidery and model building and stuff... right?” 

Caranthir shrugged, but felt a little more secure now that it had been established there were others who blushed as much as he did. Like this gorgeous half-cousin (cousin!) of his. ”Yeah... I’m not doing much needle-work right now, but I’ve got this fabulous model of a Spitfire that I’m working on. Wanna take a look?”


	2. Awkward is the word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grandfather Finwë insists on large family gatherings at Christmas. Not everyone is pleased.

Holidays were awkward, Caranthir decided. Or was it families that were awkward? Well, family and holidays combined made one awkward mess. Why their grandfather insisted on doing this he really couldn’t fathom. It wasn’t like there was much love lost between his three sons and two daughters – Caranthir’s father Fëanor didn’t get along with uncle Finarfin at all, was on speaking terms (but not much more) with uncle Fingolfin, and loathed aunt Findis. Aunt Irimë was Fëanor’s favourite sibling, with her fiery nature and bright intellect, but there was still going to be lots of snide remarks and unpleasantness before the weekend was over.

Unfortunately, Finwe insisted on everyone being present this Christmas. Everyone, including Caranthir, who at eighteen was still prone to blushing and bursts of temper that made some of the younger cousins avoid him at all costs. 

And then there was Finrod. Finrod, who was still as gorgeous at nineteen as he had been at sixteen. Finrod who for some reason refused to let Caranthir scare him off at family gatherings, who insisted on talking to him, asking him about hobbies and friends, joking and being altogether too friendly. 

The whole clan had gathered after dinner in the huge room that grandfather insisted on calling ”the parlour”. Indis seemed to worry they hadn't eaten enough already, so there was fruit, bowls of chocolate candy and plates of cookies laid out, in case someone was still hungry. The room was big enough to house them all and still allow those who wanted to avoid each other to do so fairly easily. Then there were those who had trouble staying away from each other, Caranthir thought sourly and gave Maedhros and Fingon a disdainful look. Despite parental disapproval (or more correctly paternal) the two had moved in together and seemed almost nauseatingly happy. They had a hard time keeping their hands off each other, something that disturbed their siblings. ”Eww Finno, can you not do that? Some of us are still eating!” Turgon half-shouted, turning away from the sight of Fingon mouthing at Maedhros’ neck. 

”Not my fault that you’re always nibbling on food instead of using your mouth for something more interesting!” quipped Fingon, drawing groans, whoops and a ”Language, young man, there are children present!” from Indis. 

Caranthir decided he’d had enough of family for the moment, and quietly slipped out of the room. He got his coat and boots and left the house with a feeling of relief. It was dark outside, and at the far end of the garden he found his favourite bench, which was hidden behind the gazebo, and sank down onto it to think. 

He tried to think about what he was going to do after graduating this spring. He also tried, very hard, to ponder whether he’d prefer studying economy, law or political science. He even gave a thought or two to his grandfather and his desperate attempts to push his family together. For some reason, though, as soon as family was involved, Finrod took over his thoughts. 

As if that had conjured him up, Finrod suddenly stood there beside the bench, smiling hesitantly. ”There you are... I was wondering where you’d gotten off to. Mind if I sit?” Caranthir grunted something that could be construed as ”be my guest”, but was in reality just him getting tongue-tied around his cousin as always. 

Finrod asked him about plans after graduation, told him some crazy stories from his first semester at university and actually made him laugh a couple of times. Caranthir realised to his surprise that he wasn’t really feeling awkward anymore. Finrod had a keen mind and a rather quirky sense of humour, and to top it all off, he was so fucking beautiful it made Caranthir’s insides clench with sudden longing. 

He had no idea how long they’d been sitting there, when Finrod suddenly went quiet. Caranthir looked up and saw his golden-haired cousin turning his face up to the sky, smiling blissfully. ”Look Moryo, it’s snowing!” He stuck his tongue out, trying to catch the snowflakes, which made him look so silly and so adorable Caranthir just gave up trying to resist the urge he’d had all evening. He swooped down on Finrod and captured his lips with his own, eliciting a tiny squeak of surprise and then a happy sound from the blonde.

They stayed on the bench for a while, kissing and talking quietly, until eventually someone came looking for them and they had to go inside and socialise with the rest of the clan. Nobody mentioned their swollen lips and mussed hair, although Celegorm and Maglor grinned knowingly and Maedhros cuffed the back of Caranthir's head lightly, then gave him a quick, one-armed hug. ”Never mind them”, he whispered. ”As long as you’re happy little brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am playing around with the idea that Fëanor kept his family away from the rest of the Finweans (except for Finwë himself) for years. When Caranthir met Finrod in the first chapter, it was their first meeting, although Fëanor's sons had met Fingolfin's children previously, so they knew them better.


	3. Party party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caranthir is insecure and needs some love. Cue Haleth, movies and ice cream. And then there's a surprise party. And drunk Finweans!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're still not mine, sadly.

There was no reason why he should avoid family gatherings, none at all. Except, of course, that Finrod was always at them, and after what had happened, it was awkward seeing him. Alright, it was more than awkward, Caranthir admitted to himself, it was embarrassing, and he felt shame for how he had treated Finrod. He had allowed his jealousy and insecurity to get the better of him, and he was honest enough to recognise the fault was his and his alone. 

If only it didn’t hurt so much, seeing Finrod at family holidays. He’d run into him in town, at times, always in the company of at least two or more admirers, male and female. He had this way of attracting everyone, he couldn’t help it Caranthir knew. Still, it made him angry and resentful to see him with other people, lovers he assumed although he couldn’t be sure. Celegorm told him he was a fool to have broken up with Finrod, who was ”not only hot, he could hold his liquor too”. This, apparently, was enough to put him in Celegorm’s good books. 

Caranthir wished he could have talked to Maedhros, who was his favourite brother, but Mae was busy with Fingon and the house they had recently bought together, so he was out. There was always Maglor, but his head was usually in the clouds, and anyway, he wasn’t much use when it came to romantic advice. 

After agonising over the breakup for weeks, he ended up confessing his woes to his best friend Haleth, who listened quietly while he poured out all of it; his insecurity, his jealousy, his conviction that Finrod was simply too good for him, his devastation at having hurt his beloved cousin. Boyfriend. Lover. She listened, refraining from offering advice, just held him as he cried and soothed him the way she would a skittish horse, with little crooning sounds and gentle touches to his hair and ears. She didn’t preach, just lent him a handkerchief and made him stay overnight and watch Monty Python and eat ice cream. 

Then he came home to the apartment he shared with Curufin and Celegorm, red-eyed and wrung-out after another crying bout, and to his surprise, neither of his brothers mentioned his blotchy face and hoarse voice. Curufin poured him a mug of tea and Celegorm wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed lightly. ”You know you’re an idiot, right? But you’re still my baby brother, even if you’ve messed up... I don’t want you hurting, ok?” 

Curufin snorted lightly, but nodded assent. ”You should’ve trusted Ingo”, he said. ”You hurt him with your jealousy. He wouldn’t...” He shrugged. 

”How come you know so much about Ingo suddenly?” Caranthir squinted at his younger brother in sudden suspicion. 

”I talk to him at times. He’s smart, he’s funny, and he aced the philosophy course I’m taking right now, back when he was a freshman. I needed some pointers.” 

Of course, Caranthir thought, it had to be something like that. Curufin wouldn’t care enough about his love life, or him, to talk to Finrod just because of it. 

A couple of months went by with Caranthir avoiding most of his cousins like the plague. He still talked to Fingon though, mostly because if he wanted to see Maedhros, chances were good Fingon would be around too. Then came the day Fingon drew him aside and told him he wanted to arrange a surprise party for Maedhros on his birthday. ”All of us cousins of course, and Az has to be invited too! We should gather at our house, hide and jump out at him when he gets home from work. I’ll take care of setting it all up if you make sure your brothers are there. Ingo promised to get the bubbly.” Caranthir felt his stomach drop. Finrod was going to be there? He tried to protest, but Fingon wasn’t having it. ”I know you don’t want to see him, but really Moryo, you’re both grown up. If Ingo is ok with you coming to the party, why should you care? You were the one who broke up with him after all.” Fingon’s gaze was faintly accusing.

He agreed, with a heavy heart, and made sure all his brothers knew about the party, excepting the twins. At sixteen, they were still too young to be trusted around anything containing alcohol. Curufin tried to weasel out of the whole thing, claiming he had to study, but his older brothers joined in persuading him. Maglor guilt-tripped him by mentioning how Maedhros had been almost like an extra father to his younger siblings, Caranthir bribed him with promises of new tech toys and Celegorm grabbed him in a headlock and growled: ”You’re coming, you selfish little shit, or you’re spending the rest of the semester in a cast. Arm or leg, your choice.” 

Unsurprisingly, Curufin agreed to come to the party. 

When the day came, the four of them went over to Maedhros’ and Fingon’s house just after dusk. Fingon was busy digging out as many glasses and mugs as he could find, while Finrod carried in an entire box of cava bottles. Most of the Finwean cousins were there, excepting Argon and the twins, who were too young. Azaghâl, Maedhros’ best friend from university, was there, as were Rúmil and Pengolodh, who both worked part-time at the library. 

They turned off the lights in the living room and waited for Maedhros to come home from work. Turgon started on the snacks Artanis had laid out on a table and Celegorm cracked a beer can open and took a few swigs from it, and then Fingon hissed: ”He’s coming – heads down everyone and quiet!” They heard a key in the lock and heavy steps in the hallway and some rustling. Then the lights went on in the living room and they all sprang into action: ”SURPRISE!!!”

It was quite amusing, Caranthir thought, to see his oldest brother shrink back before the Finwean attack. Azaghâl pounded Maedhros on the back and teased him about forgetfulness – as it happened, Az was a whole six months younger than his friend. The brothers took turns in hugging their redheaded sibling, Caranthir with one arm in a rather awkward embrace. He stepped back, just to realise Finrod was regarding him steadily, with one eyebrow raised. And there went the blush again, he thought desperately. Why was he afflicted with this horrible thing? He scowled, trying to get his rising colour under control, to no avail. 

Finrod and Aredhel opened the first bottle and started pouring cava. They passed out mugs and glasses to everyone present, and Caranthir shivered at Finrod’s fingers lightly touching his when he gave him a glass. He blushed again, even hotter this time. Finrod gave him a brief smile and then toasted the birthday boy in a few short, witty sentences. Everybody tossed down their first drink and then joined Maglor in an Irish drinking song, as Finrod quickly refilled all drinking vessels and popped the cork on bottle number two. 

Half an hour later, Caranthir was beginning to feel a little mellow. To be honest, he was probably more than a bit tipsy, still not drunk by any means, but enough to feel less awkward around his ex. Finrod seemed to feel the same way, because he’d seated himself on the couch right next to him, and for every glass he downed, he somehow wound up closer and closer, until he was practically draped across Caranthir’s lap. He didn’t mind that one bit, but he still felt they needed to talk. He said as much to Finrod, who climbed to his feet and pulled him along, out of the living room and into the kitchen. 

”You said talk. So talk.” Finrod gave him a strange look, one he thought he recognised. It was the one he had when he was scared, but determined to follow through on something. 

Caranthir sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, wishing he’d brought his glass because his mouth was suddenly dry. ”I... dammit Ingo, I’m sorry, ok? Sorry for being such a jealous, stupid asshole, sorry for not trusting you, sorry for hurting you, sorry for everything!” 

”Sorry for breaking up with me?” 

”Yes, damn you, I love you, I never should... mmpff!” Finrod’s mouth silenced him then, as he suddenly lunged at him, pressing him against the counter, lips, teeth and tongue devouring his mouth like he was starving and Caranthir was a gourmet dinner. 

His arms went around Finrod’s slender waist, pulling him even closer, hands moving over his back and down to his buttocks. Finrod groaned softly and nipped his bottom lip, then bit his ear savagely. Caranthir felt like his entire body was on fire. ”Ingo... Ingo...” he moaned loudly, making the blonde growl and force his thighs apart, settling himself between them. 

”Ingo, where’s the rest of the... oh, I’m sorry”, came Artanis’ gasp from the kitchen door. They both turned and glared at her, and she fled, cheeks red but eyes glimmering with hidden amusement. 

Finrod turned back towards Caranthir, put his hands lightly on his shoulders and breathed deeply. ”That was probably all for the best”, he commented. ”I want to take you home, and this isn’t the right time, it’s Nelyo’s party and we should try and restrain ourselves a little.” 

Caranthir pouted, but knew he was right. ”Yeah yeah, but I’ll hold you to it later then.” 

”I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Finrod’s smile was suddenly dangerous, and he’d never been more beautiful in Caranthir’s eyes. 

This birthday party really needed to end soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I ship these two almost as much as I do Maedhros/Fingon. They had to start somewhere, right?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Makes Me Feel So Fine; Helps To Relieve My Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14139657) by [cassibill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassibill/pseuds/cassibill)




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